*SarahBear* (![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} angelicrbowgirl) wrote,@ 2007-06-09 21:12:00 |
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Letter To You
&& Sometimes, in the end, people turn out to be the type of person that they promised they would *never* become....
How could you do this to me? After all we've been through together, after everything we did together. After everything. I just don't understand. I never have and I don't think I ever will.
I always said that you taught me what a true best friend was. And it was true. We were beyond the point of close and knew absolutely everything about each other. I could tell you absolutely anything and feel safe. We went through alot of things together, and always helped each other through them. I can think of quite a few occasions where I can honestly say that I don't know what I would have done without you. And I still have that friendship/thank you poem you wrote me, and the 5 page letter you wrote me when I was camp. We were practically inseparable. We could spend days together without ever fighting. We were as close as could be, and nothing could ever change that. Or so I thought.
You know, I've always heard that people change, that friendships change, etc. But I never thought it would happen to us. I really didn't. And especially not this drastically. Sure, I knew there was a possibility of us growing apart and not being quite as close, but I still thought we would remain friends. Little did I know how drastically you would change.
I don't even really know what happened. I have my guesses and speculations, but that isn't fair of me. What I do know is that you became a whole other person. I didn't even know you anymore. You became someone who said hurtful things, who made rude comments, who seemed to care more about herself then others, and who seemed to think she was better then other people. This shocked me. You were always such a kind and caring person. I noticed we were growing apart, and this scared me. More then you know.
I tried talking to you about us growing apart. And your response was "I've noticed it too, but I don't know what to do about it." It was like you didn't even care. I can't even begin to tell you how much that hurt me. After all we had been through together, I couldn't believe that you didn't care about our friendship. And this was only the beginning.
As time went on, you seemed to attack me. You said hurtful things about me, made rude comments about me, and definitely acted like you were better then me. You even jeopardized things for me. I couldn't believe you were doing this to me. I couldn't imagine what I had done to you. I really really couldn't. All I could think about was that there must of been something *I* did wrong.
You then started going through a hard time. And I tried to put the things you had done behind me, and help you. And boy did I try. And you accepted the help...or at least somewhat. But it still wasn't the same as it used to be. Our conversations were so strained. But still, it was amazing how you could talk to me when YOU needed the help. When I needed it, forget it.
You have this act now, that you put on. You make people think you're so perfect. You have everyone fooled. Adults think you are like the model student and person. I wish they could see what you put everyone through. I really really do.
To this day, you still hurt me. So much more then you know. Everytime you make one of your mean comments, or talk about me behind my back (and I hear it), or any time you just act like you're better. And the main reason this hurts me so much, is because I remember the way you used to be. I remember the way our friendship used to be. I remember the old you. I miss you. I really do.
I'm mad at you, and yet I still love you. There are days I want to kill you, yet I still care about you. And the thing is, I know that if something was going on, I KNOW I would still be there for you.....but would you for me?
I miss you. The real you.
&& Sometimes, in the end, people turn out to be the type of person that they promised they would *never* become....
How could you do this to me? After all we've been through together, after everything we did together. After everything. I just don't understand. I never have and I don't think I ever will.
I always said that you taught me what a true best friend was. And it was true. We were beyond the point of close and knew absolutely everything about each other. I could tell you absolutely anything and feel safe. We went through alot of things together, and always helped each other through them. I can think of quite a few occasions where I can honestly say that I don't know what I would have done without you. And I still have that friendship/thank you poem you wrote me, and the 5 page letter you wrote me when I was camp. We were practically inseparable. We could spend days together without ever fighting. We were as close as could be, and nothing could ever change that. Or so I thought.
You know, I've always heard that people change, that friendships change, etc. But I never thought it would happen to us. I really didn't. And especially not this drastically. Sure, I knew there was a possibility of us growing apart and not being quite as close, but I still thought we would remain friends. Little did I know how drastically you would change.
I don't even really know what happened. I have my guesses and speculations, but that isn't fair of me. What I do know is that you became a whole other person. I didn't even know you anymore. You became someone who said hurtful things, who made rude comments, who seemed to care more about herself then others, and who seemed to think she was better then other people. This shocked me. You were always such a kind and caring person. I noticed we were growing apart, and this scared me. More then you know.
I tried talking to you about us growing apart. And your response was "I've noticed it too, but I don't know what to do about it." It was like you didn't even care. I can't even begin to tell you how much that hurt me. After all we had been through together, I couldn't believe that you didn't care about our friendship. And this was only the beginning.
As time went on, you seemed to attack me. You said hurtful things about me, made rude comments about me, and definitely acted like you were better then me. You even jeopardized things for me. I couldn't believe you were doing this to me. I couldn't imagine what I had done to you. I really really couldn't. All I could think about was that there must of been something *I* did wrong.
You then started going through a hard time. And I tried to put the things you had done behind me, and help you. And boy did I try. And you accepted the help...or at least somewhat. But it still wasn't the same as it used to be. Our conversations were so strained. But still, it was amazing how you could talk to me when YOU needed the help. When I needed it, forget it.
You have this act now, that you put on. You make people think you're so perfect. You have everyone fooled. Adults think you are like the model student and person. I wish they could see what you put everyone through. I really really do.
To this day, you still hurt me. So much more then you know. Everytime you make one of your mean comments, or talk about me behind my back (and I hear it), or any time you just act like you're better. And the main reason this hurts me so much, is because I remember the way you used to be. I remember the way our friendship used to be. I remember the old you. I miss you. I really do.
I'm mad at you, and yet I still love you. There are days I want to kill you, yet I still care about you. And the thing is, I know that if something was going on, I KNOW I would still be there for you.....but would you for me?
I miss you. The real you.
